I have two stories that stem from this train of thought.
Story #1 is one of my best friends.
He got married and his wife was somewhat headstrong and followed this mentality. She made good money, so it was somewhat fair for them, but pretty soon my friend started earning more money than her. She has a degree in finance or something or other, but they had separate bank accounts each, plus a ‘shared’ account that the bills were paid out of. They would each chip in 50% of everything, and if someone wanted a car then that payment came from their personal account. Long story short, I’m going to his second wedding in September. For reasons not clear, they finally split up last year and he’s moved on.
A friend of mine from work has a friend who I don’t know, but her husband was of the opinion that the wife raise the kids. This includes any sports or activities they want to play, clothe them, and anything else directly related to them. She works at a small bank and after several years, confessed that she has been stealing money from customers to help pay for their kids stuff. The husband makes good money, but he wouldn’t pay for anything for the kids. I guess he paid for the house and other bills, but the kids were up to her. She confessed to stealing the money from customers because she couldn’t take the thought of it anymore. She didn’t get caught, but confessed because she could no longer sleep at night. The husband now suffers the embarrassment of his wife being charged and the public humility. I feel bad for the wife, and my initial reaction was ‘serves the husband right’.
I hope your situation doesn’t turn out like either one of these ones, and I hope your husband sees the light and joins your team (of one so far) and supports you better in your marriage and bills.
If I could work 12 hour days so that my wife could stay home and raise our children, I certainly would. But our current situation requires her to work as well, and she enjoys working, but I know she would enjoy it more if she went to work for something to do, rather than getting the paycheck.